I have felt ill from the stress and even needed to lay down. But I simply cannot operate, and live my life like that any longer. I have children that are always watching me, always soaking up my patterns and behavior, good or bad. When I am anxious, they are anxious, when I am at peace, they are at peace . When I let my temper get the best of me, and let anger fill my heart, they follow in stride.
So I don't want my children to pick up on that; the solution, pray. Pray when I wake up in the morning, pray when their is a dispute among my children that I don't know how to solve, pray when I feel weak, pray when I feel like giving up on this whole Mother business, and skipping town. Pray when I don't feel like it, pray when I am even mad with God. God sees all my heart anyways, I can't hide anything from him. And when I pray something starts to happen, something starts to shift, and change, it's not the world, it's not my children, it's me. My heart becomes open , all barriers are knocked down, the weapons that the enemy have tried to attack me with, are no longer effective. Jesus comes in, all present, all knowing, and floods my heart with his perfect peace. No weapon formed against me, or any of us will prosper, when we put on the full armor of God, and walk in victory, knowing that our Victor, has already fought the battle for us. Give it to Jesus, give it all and He will turn all your ashes into a beauty, that will never fade, never dry up, never die. The beauty of a contrite heart, that in turn becomes a fragrant aroma to our Father in Heaven. We can win every battle when we learn to fight it first on our knees to the Lord. He fights for us, and He will deliver us.
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